So today wasn't a very good day. I shit my bed, literally... I woke up after a short sleep-deprivation inflicted, non-voluntary coma/nap to find shit everywhere. I'm actually kind of lucky it smelt so bad, otherwise I probably wouldn't have woke up. After I cleaned up the mess, I realized this whole boxer-briefs thing isn't for me; I clearly need Huggies. I mean this was really gross; I didn't like it at all.
Okay, this is the part where I tell you that I didn't really shit my bed, literally. I merely shit the proverbial bed, figuratively. To be honest, I would have rather literally shit my bed... and laid there in it.
Your ridicule isn't really welcome, but it is well deserved.
I still need a nap; if it happens to come in the non-voluntary semi-coma variety I will still gladly accept it. I'm not even going to take my contacts out...
If you need me I'll be searching for "figurative Huggies."
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gross
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