Lately, I've been giving some thought to why our culture is so obsessed with celebrities. And not even for-real legitimate celebrities, reality television has created a sort of quasi-celebrity, characters that people become fascinated with, but who aren't special in any way other than that they sent an audition tape to the casting director of a reality television program.
Last summer, I was visiting a friend in Buffalo and we couldn't get in to her favorite bar because it had reached capacity. We asked the bouncer why so many people were there and he told us that Landon from "The Real World" was in the bar. You all remember Landon, right? He was a pretty regular guy, kinda short, muscular, not much of a personality, got a lot of camera time for basically acting like a huge douchebag. He's touring the country, collecting fees from bars that in return draw extra patrons who want to get drunk with Landon and see if he's really as much of a douche in person as he is on television. There was a flyer outside of the bar; Book Landon from MTV's "The Real World" for your next event, it read. I was shocked, but I'm not really sure why.
People are obsessed with these reality tv stars. I'm not trying to contest the inherent idiocy of our society and claim that I'm above it; I too am privy to many of these shows. In particular, I can't miss an episode of VH1's "I Love NY" or "The White Rapper Show;" I'm not sure what attracts me to these shows. I can't really even decide whether the show's characters are really bad actors, or if there are actually people that crazy in the world. Whatever the answer, I find the shows entertaining.
What got me thinking about this was something that happened a few days ago. My roommate Ray and I went snowboarding with our friend Mallory, and she told us how one of the guys living in her house knows one of the contestants recently eliminated from "The White Rapper Show," Sully. Ray and I both were instantly fascinated with the idea of possibly speaking to Sully. And then, it hit me; Sully's not exceptional in any way. He's just some random guy from Boston that happened to land on a television show. He's kind of an alcoholic and has a very moderate musical talent. Why should I be excited to talk to him? If anything, he should be excited to talk to me.
I can't really resolve this; maybe I'm mad at the culture that has formed me... or maybe I'm just disappointed because I'd rather meet John Brown than Sully (he seems much more interesting). Anyways, let me know what you think.
Hallelujah Holla Back!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Please Fall Down a Flight of Stairs
Right now I feel the need to speak from my heart, and these thoughts are kinda sad, but mostly, very true. There's some people that I really wish would fall down a large flight of stairs. This is mean, I guess, but it'd really be convenient for me. I can think of at least three people who could fall down flights of stairs and it wouldn't even bother me a little.
Person A is a huge douchebag. He's the kind of person that would spill his drink on you at the bar and not even apologize. Person B is an acquaintance from a long time ago. I don't know why I thought of her, but she repulses me. About three years ago she put my dick in her mouth for like a second, but then decided she didn't want to give me head. I think we all can agree this is an inherently evil thing to do. Person C, well I don't actually even know Person C and he's fucking up my life nonetheless. Go figure.
If you happen to see a person that fits any of the above three descriptions, and you also happen to be approaching a staircase when you spot them, do me a favor, give them a nice healthy shove. You'd be doing the world a favor, and me an especially large favor. If you've ever had your dick in a girl's mouth and didn't shortly thereafter experience an orgasm, you know how I feel.
If you happen to push someone down a flight of stairs and then realize you didn't get the right person, that's on you. However, my guess would be that if they fit a description I've laid out above, they probably deserved the fall as it is.
I'm feeling spiteful, angry, and bitter... and this is not my usual tone. If you're a first time reader, I apologize.
As for the rest of you, you're a bunch of god-damn ingrates.
Person A is a huge douchebag. He's the kind of person that would spill his drink on you at the bar and not even apologize. Person B is an acquaintance from a long time ago. I don't know why I thought of her, but she repulses me. About three years ago she put my dick in her mouth for like a second, but then decided she didn't want to give me head. I think we all can agree this is an inherently evil thing to do. Person C, well I don't actually even know Person C and he's fucking up my life nonetheless. Go figure.
If you happen to see a person that fits any of the above three descriptions, and you also happen to be approaching a staircase when you spot them, do me a favor, give them a nice healthy shove. You'd be doing the world a favor, and me an especially large favor. If you've ever had your dick in a girl's mouth and didn't shortly thereafter experience an orgasm, you know how I feel.
If you happen to push someone down a flight of stairs and then realize you didn't get the right person, that's on you. However, my guess would be that if they fit a description I've laid out above, they probably deserved the fall as it is.
I'm feeling spiteful, angry, and bitter... and this is not my usual tone. If you're a first time reader, I apologize.
As for the rest of you, you're a bunch of god-damn ingrates.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy New Years... err Valentines Day
I have a few minor obsessive compulsive tendencies (how minor depends on who you ask). Because of these tendencies, I have a major issue with old drafts that haven't been published. However, I don't feel obliged to delete these drafts so I'm publishing one now (with some additions).
I started to write a post on New Years Day, but didn't finish it. In the Holiday Spirit, Happy New Years... on Valentines Day. Anyways, this post can serve as an update.
1-1
Happy New Years everyone. I know it's been a while; perhaps my resolution should be to start posting more often. I guess we'll have to wait and see if that happens. I've got a number of other ideas for resolutions.
2-14
Well... if that was a resolution I did actually get to it, just a month late or so, but what's every one's fascination with the first of January. From what I remember, it was like any other day, except colder...
1-1
What is the deal with new years resolutions anyway? I don't feel any different today than I did yesterday, my hangover not withstanding, of course... I digress. I have a number of goals I plan on accomplishing this year, but I had goals in mind for last year as well. Right now, my resolution is to cleanse my body, so at least for the month of January there will be no drugs, alcohol, or fast food for me.
2-14
As far as the goals I had in mind, not quite yet; I'm not really even so sure if I've gotten to the ones from last year, whoops. For the record, I cleansed my body for exactly ten days, pretty good, no?
Conclusion: Blogging is like time travel, only better.
I started to write a post on New Years Day, but didn't finish it. In the Holiday Spirit, Happy New Years... on Valentines Day. Anyways, this post can serve as an update.
1-1
Happy New Years everyone. I know it's been a while; perhaps my resolution should be to start posting more often. I guess we'll have to wait and see if that happens. I've got a number of other ideas for resolutions.
2-14
Well... if that was a resolution I did actually get to it, just a month late or so, but what's every one's fascination with the first of January. From what I remember, it was like any other day, except colder...
1-1
What is the deal with new years resolutions anyway? I don't feel any different today than I did yesterday, my hangover not withstanding, of course... I digress. I have a number of goals I plan on accomplishing this year, but I had goals in mind for last year as well. Right now, my resolution is to cleanse my body, so at least for the month of January there will be no drugs, alcohol, or fast food for me.
2-14
As far as the goals I had in mind, not quite yet; I'm not really even so sure if I've gotten to the ones from last year, whoops. For the record, I cleansed my body for exactly ten days, pretty good, no?
Conclusion: Blogging is like time travel, only better.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Today is Tomorrow's Yesterday
Someone told me Kenny was a little bit depressing; I thought for fun I'd make him a foil, Pete. I agree that Kenny is depressing, but Pete is boring... what do you think?
The sun warmed Pete’s bed as its ray reached the height of his window. He looked at the clock on his nightstand; 7:20, the alarm wasn’t due for another forty minutes. What the hell, he thought; an early start never hurt anyone. Besides, from the moment he woke up Pete’s day was destined to get better.
Pete took a shower, took his paper on the side of Eggs Benedict and black coffee and thought to himself how lucky he truly was. Thirty years old and he already had this world by the balls. Tentatively due at work by nine, he kissed his gorgeous wife goodbye and jumped in his expensive new car.
God is smiling on me…
Pete gets home from work around five. His wife already has dinner prepared, Chicken Marsala—his favorite. His son tells him that he has made the baseball team, his daughter that she has won the spelling bee. Pete thinks he must be the picture of the American dream. He’s sure his children will be too.
You can do anything you want to in this world…
After dinner, Pete plays catch with his son. Around nine he tucks both of his children in, reading his daughter a book before giving her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. He watches television with his wife for an hour or so. They make love before going to sleep around midnight.
I’ll get another early start tomorrow, honey; today was such a great day. I love you…
A lifetime of tomorrows awaits him.
The sun warmed Pete’s bed as its ray reached the height of his window. He looked at the clock on his nightstand; 7:20, the alarm wasn’t due for another forty minutes. What the hell, he thought; an early start never hurt anyone. Besides, from the moment he woke up Pete’s day was destined to get better.
Pete took a shower, took his paper on the side of Eggs Benedict and black coffee and thought to himself how lucky he truly was. Thirty years old and he already had this world by the balls. Tentatively due at work by nine, he kissed his gorgeous wife goodbye and jumped in his expensive new car.
God is smiling on me…
Pete gets home from work around five. His wife already has dinner prepared, Chicken Marsala—his favorite. His son tells him that he has made the baseball team, his daughter that she has won the spelling bee. Pete thinks he must be the picture of the American dream. He’s sure his children will be too.
You can do anything you want to in this world…
After dinner, Pete plays catch with his son. Around nine he tucks both of his children in, reading his daughter a book before giving her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. He watches television with his wife for an hour or so. They make love before going to sleep around midnight.
I’ll get another early start tomorrow, honey; today was such a great day. I love you…
A lifetime of tomorrows awaits him.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Today is Yesterday's Tomorrow
From her window, Kenny’s neighbor watches him make a purchase. An eighth, for forty dollars, he should have only paid thirty-five, she thinks… Days like this have been occurring far too often. He swallows his pride and convinces himself it’s the last time.
He thinks about how cliché this whole situation is as he watches most of his problems float away with a cloud of smoke. Just in case, he drowns the rest of them in a sea of Captain Morgan’s. If his parents could see him now… If his parents could see him now they’d tell him this is not the American dream. Whatever, they have their perceptions; Kenny faces his reality every day. Still, there’s solace in some things.
Thank god I never got into harder drugs…
He wakes up, as expected his problems have returned. Today is a good day; the weight of the world won’t keep him in his bed. Today he begins his new job. Today is the first day of the rest of his life. Today Kenny will find the career he’d always dreamt about, the fulfillment he could never even imagine, faith in god, the girl of his dreams, and the house with the white picket fence; today Kenny will find the American dream. He’ll make his parents proud.
Think positive, it’s all within your reach…
Kenny goes home with his dreams unfulfilled. He still has the bowl and the bottle. Maybe this is the American dream, he thinks. He packs his bowl in silence. Their dream wasn’t in his cards today. What’s a data recovery specialist anyway? He considers quitting his job. The thoughts of rent, child-support, car payments, insurance, and that ever present thirty-five dollar fee for his sanity slowly drift away. How can he fit in a society that wasn’t designed with him in mind?
Today just wasn’t my day…
A lifetime of tomorrows awaits him.
He thinks about how cliché this whole situation is as he watches most of his problems float away with a cloud of smoke. Just in case, he drowns the rest of them in a sea of Captain Morgan’s. If his parents could see him now… If his parents could see him now they’d tell him this is not the American dream. Whatever, they have their perceptions; Kenny faces his reality every day. Still, there’s solace in some things.
Thank god I never got into harder drugs…
He wakes up, as expected his problems have returned. Today is a good day; the weight of the world won’t keep him in his bed. Today he begins his new job. Today is the first day of the rest of his life. Today Kenny will find the career he’d always dreamt about, the fulfillment he could never even imagine, faith in god, the girl of his dreams, and the house with the white picket fence; today Kenny will find the American dream. He’ll make his parents proud.
Think positive, it’s all within your reach…
Kenny goes home with his dreams unfulfilled. He still has the bowl and the bottle. Maybe this is the American dream, he thinks. He packs his bowl in silence. Their dream wasn’t in his cards today. What’s a data recovery specialist anyway? He considers quitting his job. The thoughts of rent, child-support, car payments, insurance, and that ever present thirty-five dollar fee for his sanity slowly drift away. How can he fit in a society that wasn’t designed with him in mind?
Today just wasn’t my day…
A lifetime of tomorrows awaits him.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Anonymous Said...
Lucia keeps telling me that I should make a post, so I'm appeasing her (because I know her wrath). In reality, there's two important factors going on in that statement. (A) I really need to post because I've been lazy. And (B) It's flattering that someone enjoys my blog enough to demand that I post (even if she's both my friend and a nerd).
Lucia says that I should post about the importance of blogging. I agree. Blogging is important, and I have been blogging on another site with a more concentrated purpose hence that has taken time away from this site. However, I haven't really decided what the purpose of this blog is. If you're reading this, you should comment. Because aside from Lucia's nagging I rarely get feedback.
I enjoy feedback, for a bottom line reason. It's flattering to know people read my blog. I'd probably blog more often if I felt that more often. I'm a textbook narcissist, I allow anonymous comments for a reason. Even if you leave a comment that went something like "you're a huge douche, signed anonymous" I'd appreciate the support. So yes, blogging is important, and commenting is more important. Lucia... you're anonymous.
On a random aside, i managed to scare a lady at the grocery store today. While she was ahead of me in line I started having a conversation with her vegetables, naming each one. Hector the tomato, Bernie the cucumber, Lenny the lettuce head, etc... I managed to freak this lady right the fuck out, she ran out of Topps screaming bloody murder and I got her spot in line. All in a days work, huh...
Peace for now, I'm going to attempt posting more often from here on out...
Lucia says that I should post about the importance of blogging. I agree. Blogging is important, and I have been blogging on another site with a more concentrated purpose hence that has taken time away from this site. However, I haven't really decided what the purpose of this blog is. If you're reading this, you should comment. Because aside from Lucia's nagging I rarely get feedback.
I enjoy feedback, for a bottom line reason. It's flattering to know people read my blog. I'd probably blog more often if I felt that more often. I'm a textbook narcissist, I allow anonymous comments for a reason. Even if you leave a comment that went something like "you're a huge douche, signed anonymous" I'd appreciate the support. So yes, blogging is important, and commenting is more important. Lucia... you're anonymous.
On a random aside, i managed to scare a lady at the grocery store today. While she was ahead of me in line I started having a conversation with her vegetables, naming each one. Hector the tomato, Bernie the cucumber, Lenny the lettuce head, etc... I managed to freak this lady right the fuck out, she ran out of Topps screaming bloody murder and I got her spot in line. All in a days work, huh...
Peace for now, I'm going to attempt posting more often from here on out...
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