Please Fall Down a Flight of Stairs

Right now I feel the need to speak from my heart, and these thoughts are kinda sad, but mostly, very true. There's some people that I really wish would fall down a large flight of stairs. This is mean, I guess, but it'd really be convenient for me. I can think of at least three people who could fall down flights of stairs and it wouldn't even bother me a little.

Person A is a huge douchebag. He's the kind of person that would spill his drink on you at the bar and not even apologize. Person B is an acquaintance from a long time ago. I don't know why I thought of her, but she repulses me. About three years ago she put my dick in her mouth for like a second, but then decided she didn't want to give me head. I think we all can agree this is an inherently evil thing to do. Person C, well I don't actually even know Person C and he's fucking up my life nonetheless. Go figure.

If you happen to see a person that fits any of the above three descriptions, and you also happen to be approaching a staircase when you spot them, do me a favor, give them a nice healthy shove. You'd be doing the world a favor, and me an especially large favor. If you've ever had your dick in a girl's mouth and didn't shortly thereafter experience an orgasm, you know how I feel.

If you happen to push someone down a flight of stairs and then realize you didn't get the right person, that's on you. However, my guess would be that if they fit a description I've laid out above, they probably deserved the fall as it is.

I'm feeling spiteful, angry, and bitter... and this is not my usual tone. If you're a first time reader, I apologize.

As for the rest of you, you're a bunch of god-damn ingrates.