Who Wants a Mustache Ride?

To anyone whom it may concern, anyone at all, I now have a mustache. I will be sporting this look for at least a month as it is requisite for the play I'm currently starring in (err...supporting in).

From here on out, I will be experimenting with the pick-up line, "who wants a mustache ride?" I think this will officially be the only opening line I use with women. Period. I'll try to report back with my results. I can't imagine it will hurt my game too too much. In the sense that I imagine most women will not find me particularly attractive with a mustache anyway. I mean it's fuckin' 2009 for Christs' sake!

Since I haven't been out yet, here's a hypothetical:

Newly-stached Jim: Hey pretty lady, could I interest you in a mustache ride?

Likely-mediocre chica: Excuse me?

Newly-stached Jim: A mustache ride. Want one?

Likely-mediocre chica: Well, I'm not sure ... how does that work?

Newly-stached Jim: Ya know, I haven't quite figured out the logistics, but I'm guessing I'd lay down, you'd sit on my face, and we'd just go from there.

Likely-mediocre chica: That does sound kind of fun.

Newly-stached Jim: Oh, it would be!

Likely-mediocre chica: Let's get out of here and go to my place.

Newly-stached Jim: Whoo-rahh!!!

Like that little kid JP from Angels in the Outfield always said, "It could happen." He was wise beyond his years; I bet he has a mustache too...